


I Miss You Like Crazy

by Johnmurphyisqueer



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: ? - Freeform, Basically, Character Death, Crying, Emotional Hurt, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Gen, Hurt, Hurt No Comfort, Men Crying, Not Beta Read, Panic Attacks, Sobbing, but murphy doesn't know that, but not in the way traditional hurt comfort happens, echo comforts a little bit, fight me, lol, we know clarke doesn't die in the show
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-10
Updated: 2021-02-10
Packaged: 2021-03-17 00:34:08
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29341383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Johnmurphyisqueer/pseuds/Johnmurphyisqueer
Summary: Clarke Griffin Is Dead.Murphy reacts to that, on the ring, high above an Earth On Fire.
Relationships: Clarke Griffin/John Murphy, Echo & John Murphy (The 100), not romantic
Comments: 5
Kudos: 20





	I Miss You Like Crazy

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoy!

It's been 3 hours since they made it into The Ring, and Murphy still stands next to the window staring down at Earth. Earth is destroyed, covered in fire and Murphy can only think of one person. He slips to his knees in front of the window, and feels himself falling apart. Tears start falling, and he sobs. He lets himself cry as he stares out, from hundreds of miles away, at the Earth. He lost her. He knows this is what he wanted, he knows she wanted them to get away and live, but he can't help but feel guilty. He feels guilty for not staying with her, even if he would have died. 

"Clarke." He says under his breath, still looking down at the fiery planet. A planet where nothing could survive on the Surface. Nightblood doesn't save anyone. He learned that from the dead grounder in the machine. He runs his hands through his hair, and he feels his breathing pick up. 'Who will save them now?' he asks himself, knowing that Clarke has done that so many times before. Murphy feels his chest tighten and he sobs loudly.

He hates when he does this. He hate's when he gets emotional... But it's not like he can help it. He lost the girl he loved. He lost his, and other people's, hero. The girl who came in like she owned the world. The girl who had hated in the beginning, but very quickly fell for. He lost her. He can't control the sobs or the shaking that wracks his body. He lays on the floor next to him losing any energy he had in the past 3 hours. He lays there for a long time. He's not sure how long he lays, but it must be hours, because someone finally comes to search for him. 

"Murphy?" He hears a voice call, and all he can do is lay on his side and stare out of the window. He doesn't care who it is. He doesn't care if they see him like this, and He certainly doesn't care for the pitying voice or their pitying frown, or anything that will be thrown his way. Clarke didn't do that. Clarke never gave him those looks. Clarke never treated him as less for being broken, or hurt. She treated him like she'd want to be treated. The person who the voice belongs to finally finds him. They walk over quietly and sighs. They sit down next to him and He still doesn't look. He doesn't want to. He doesn't want to see the pity. 

"Bellamy told me to check on you." The voice says, and that's when Murphy realizes the voice belongs to Echo. He doesn't look at her. He feels her hand go to his shoulder, and he just stares out the window. 

"Are you going to keep laying here on the ground instead of finding yourself a room? If so, I saw a wonderful room with a large bed, but Bellamy said you'd want that room, so He made me wait for you." Echo says, and Murphy listens intently to her. Letting himself stop focusing on the imaginary sound of Clarke screaming in his head. 

"Or, I could give it to Monty and Harper. They'd probably love the big ol' bed for when they... Well, You know." Echo jokes, and Murphy cant help the very small lift of his lip. 

"Bellamy chose the room closest to the center. He says it'll be easier to protect people, but nobody knows what he could protect us from." Echo explains, and Murphy realizes she knows. She knows he needs this, that he needs someone rambling to him. She knows what it's like to be hurt like he is, and she's making sure he doesn't spiral. 

"Emori found a room close to Raven. Even in the short time they've known each other, they're basically attached at the hip." Echo says, half joking. Murphy feels his heart slow down gradually. 

"And I need to know if you're going to take that room or not, because if so, i have to find a new room. It'll probably be the one next to Bellamy's but I'm not sure yet." Echo rambles, and Murphy feels his breathing slow down. He stay on the floor for a minute, and Echo just waits, slowly massaging his shoulder. He gets up slowly, stretch out his legs, and running his hands through his messed up hair. He looks out of the window for a minute, before taking a deep breath. Echo reaches out and grabs Murphy's arm and turns him towards her. 

"So. Want the room?" Echo asks, and Murphy smiles softly. He rubs his hand over his face and nods. 

"Yeah." Murphy says, his voice is scratchy from not being used for anything other than sobs. Echo shows a very faint smile. 

"Cool, I'll go find a new one. Want me to show you the room?" Echo asks, and Murphy sees what she's doing. It's a perfect way to get him away from this spot. The absolute Perfect way to avoid him being alone, and far away from everyone. He needs to make the choice now, of whether or not he wants their help. The choice makes him think for a few minutes, Before he Nods, showing Echo that yes, he will accept the help. Echo stands up, and reaches down, as if she's asking for his hand. He raises his hand and lets her pull him up. Before they leave Murphy looks at Earth again. He may have lost Clarke, but he can't make her sacrifice mean nothing. He'll keep going, and he'll keep living because That's what Clarke would have wanted. He's still broken. He lost his love, and that means he'll be broken for a long time. Tonight he'll be wrapped up in his new bed. Alone. And that will hurt more than anything. 

But he can do it, He can make it. He can make it back down to the ground and he can live. He owe's Clarke that much.

**Author's Note:**

> Kudos and Comments keep me going! My Tumblr is @johnmurphyisqueer !


End file.
